A Yacht's Life
by queenpearl
Summary: The Story of HMY Britannia.
1. Chapter 1

"Brrr!" Britannia shivered as she sailed along. The sea just kept on getting colder and colder. She didn't even know it could get that cold. The 3 year old yacht had only seen the Atlantic which could be cold but wasn't nearly as cold as this. She gave another shudder.

"Ugh, how much farther?!" She whined.

"Now Britannia, what have I told you about whining?" Phillip chided her.

"Hmph!" Britannia pouted, smacking her bow on a wave. She spluttered as it splashed up over her nose.

"Serves you right." said the Duke and went back to reading his book.

Britannia grumbled things under her breath that surely would get her into serious trouble if they were heard by certain ears. Up ahead appeared a large white line and as she got closer, Britannia realized it was an ice shelf.

"Um, sire?" She asked.

Phillip stuck his head out the window. "Ah, the Ross Sea Ice Shelf. Welcome to Antarctica, Britannia." He said with a smile.

Britannia sighed. "Thanks." She grumbled.

He gave her a pat. "Now don't be so glum." he said.

Britannia pulled into the natural harbor at McMurdo Sound and let the duke have his fun. She watched some seagulls flying overhead and gave a loud squeal as one dropped a load on her.

Phillip turned around to see what the commotion was all about and started laughing.

"It's not funny!" Britannia wailed, a glob of seagull poop dripping down between her eyes.

"I'm sorry just you look ridiculous." He said.

"Do I?" She took some and threw it at him.

Phillip glared unappreciatively at the glob of bird poop Britannia threw onto his shoulder. "Okay, it is on!" He laughed.

Britannia squealed as he chased her down the ice field. She splashed water at him. "Brr!" He chuckled, tossing ice right back. Britannia ended up scooping him up and rolling on her back with him on her stomach. He began tickling her and she shrieked with laughter.

"Coochie, coochie, coo!" He said.

"Ai!" She laughed and laughed.

Eventually it got too cold for them to play around much more and Britannia gently placed him on deck. She turned her bow for warmer waters.


	2. Chapter 2

Britannia had spent her entire life as a yacht though she was trained for another purpose. If need be she could serve as a hospital ship. Never had she had the need to use that training until now that is.

Over 1000 frightened people crowded the beaches of Aden, desperate to escape the country as the war waged inland. Britannia wanted to help but she wasn't sure what she should do. Instinct took over and she whipped her bow around, charging up onto the rocks. One thing never changed throughout all her incarnations. No matter what her form, Britannia had a very powerful protective instinct and she was going to use that here.

People clambered aboard her. She already had severe scrapes below the waterline from her deliberate grounding and she hoped she could pull herself off when the time came.

"Calm, calm." She kept murmuring to the people. Her words had a hypnotizing affect and the crowd, once a riot of woman, children, and young men, now filed aboard in an orderly fashion. A great contrast to the chaos moments earlier.

Britannia, satisfied, waited until the last of the refugees were aboard, then attempted to shove off. That was easier said than done. She tried several times but couldn't get her keel free of the bank. The mud held her bow in place. Jaws parted in a pant, the yacht braced herself for one final push.

"I'm too old for this shit." She groaned as at last, she pushed herself free.

She nearly capsized but found her balance just in time and set off once more. She'd been on her way to pick up the queen and now saw her waiting at the dock. Britannia always made it a point to arrive before her royal master did so she'd have time to clean herself off. This time however, she was late and the queen was waiting for her. Britannia was sure she was going to get it this time.

Queen Elizabeth however, wasn't angry. She was smiling. "Britannia, I am so proud of you." She said, placing a gloved hand against Britannia's bow.

"You're not angry?" Britannia asked.

"Being an hour late is a small price to pay for your courage." The queen replied. "However I can't have you wondering around looking like this." With a snap of her fingers two men came forward each with a bucket and a scrub brush.

Britannia's eyes widened. Usually, she'd go and wash herself off but to be washed by hand like she was royalty herself... She backed away. "Your majesty, I couldn't possibly..." She whispered.

"You've earned it." Queen Elizabeth smiled. Britannia came forward again, purring as they began scrubbing her down. When the rinse came, the queen had a hand over the yacht's eyes and Britannia tipped her head back, letting the water run off her hull.

Feeling much better, Britannia excitedly danced around, much like a dog after a shower. Queen Elizabeth laughed as she tried to dry behind her yacht's ears and Britannia was quivering like a leaf, panting happily.

"You are just like a big fluffy dog." She said.

Britannia giggled, giving a silly grin which only made them both laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Britannia eagerly raced over at Diana's whistle.

Though the princess couldn't understand her they shared a special bond. Britannia adored Diana and the feelings were mutual. The princess always had some tasty treat for her to try. This time she held out something white in her hand.

Britannia sniffed it curiously, detecting the strong sweet sent of sugar. Her mouth watered. She loved sweet things, she had a crazy sweet tooth. Happily she took the treat from Diana's hand, her tongue tasting the human's skin.

Diana laughed. "You like that?" She asked.

Britannia giggled. "Yes ma'am." She replied though all Diana heard was a friendly nicker.

"I take that as a yes." Diana smiled and Britannia bobbed her head in a yes conformation.

Diana chuckled and pet her head. Britannia nudged her pockets with her nose as she detected more.

"Well you're being nosy." The princess said.

Britannia nickered an apology and smiling, Diana stuck a hand in her pocket, pulling it out with a full handful of white sugar cubes. Britannia eagerly licked them up.

"Hungry aren't we?" Diana asked.

Britannia nodded, swiping her tongue around her jaws. She nuzzled Diana lovingly.

"Ah, you're welcome dearie. Off you go now." Diana said.

Britannia giggled again and raced off. Diana smiled, watching her for a few minutes before leaving. She was called back later that afternoon by an angry Queen Elizabeth who was trying to catch her yacht as she zipped around the harbor.

"Wheeeeeee!" Britannia laughed as she bounced off docks and boat ramps.

"What did you do?" Queen Elizabeth asked.

"I didn't do anything!" Diana lied quickly. She broke off at the queen's scowl.

"Okay, I gave her sugar cubes. But just as a treat!"

"Diana! She's a yacht, sugar will make her hyper." Queen Elizabeth smacked a hand to her forehead. "Honestly sometimes I don't understand you."

"I'm sorry madam." Diana said with a slight courtesy.

"Now you can try catching her." Queen Elizabeth said, tossing her a rope.

Sighing, Diana caught it and began to chase Britannia around. Eventually the sugar wore off and Britannia, exhausted, staggered into her berth. Panting, Diana slipped the rope like a noose around the ship's neck.

"Got you." She panted as they both collapsed. Britannia and Diana looked at each other and began to laugh. Slowly at first then louder and longer until both were struggling to take in air.

A third laugh joined in. Despite her sternness towards Diana earlier, Queen Elizabeth had to admit her yacht's antics were funny.


End file.
